17 AND FREE

SO...let me start at the beginning. well not the very beginning. I didn't have much of a dating life in high school and the ones i did interact with are not worth writing about because they just didnt have that much of an affect on me.so i graduated high school at the fun age of 17! yes...freedom.(well as much as you could have still living at your parents house) oh i was so ready to become an adult. i jumped into single life, hung out, met new people, was becoming the new me. my first memorable incounter post high school life didnt last very long but lets talk about why.REMEMBER i was 17. the summer after high school i went to a conference to meet lots of new singles.how brave of me. i came across one who seemed to peak my interest. i lived in nashville and at the time my life's ambition was to be a singer- song writer so when i found those who had the same goals and interests i was drawn to them. HE was awesome. He had a promising career in music, was funny, successful and so mature. WHY? well HE was 10 full years older than me. what was i thinking? what was HE thinking? so today let's see....yes that would make him 40 now. i must have been a very lovely 17 year old. needless to say it was a nice little summer experience that lead him into marriage the very next year. Good for him. i know what you are thinking but like i said before every experience is for our benefit. so i am sure i learned something that has been a positive addition to my character.saying that it leads me into my next step...18 gosh i was so much smarter. the next 3 years would turn out to be the longest and hardest 3 years of my life. no drama here. i am serious. and i am definitly NOT reffering to the 3 years i talked about in my LIFE LIKE A MOVIE note. HE has been a very pleasant 3 years despite the hold ups. no...back to my earlier 3 years (i know right, i must have this thing with 3 years) if someone would have told me i would have been treated the way that i was i would have never believed it. if HE ever read this i would hate to make him feel bad but let's be honest. HE was KING ISSUES.i could trace it back to how his father treated his mother. but i was 18 and niave and thought i could change anyone. HE had no proper teaching.no wonder HE treated me the way that HE did. it was one of those. even if i was right i was wrong. so for the next 3 years i lived like that. i took all the blame and i was always a failure.no matter my parents council i was the one who was right. (thank goodness today i listen to EVERYTHING my parents have to say) there was much much more to that 3 years that i will leave behind us but lets just say i gained thicker skin for it which has definitly helped me in later years. i ended up moving to the great state of north carolina. i guess running was my only option and when i returned to nashville i was able to move forward and push him to the side (God bless his soul today) lets go back to my 17th summer. During that time of finding my freedom i also met one who secretly stole my heart.oh HE didnt ask for it. i just gave it to him( a trait i see 10 years later i still pocess) HE was 23 living in nashville with his sister right from the sunny state of Florida. sure he wanted to hang out a couple times and after sneaking around my parents(because i was too young to date him...oops) i thought HE was great but it was short lived and HE went back to Florida. so for the next few years there was my secret crush - FLORIDA MAN. though he was my friend in and out of my life during 3 years boy i never really got over the idea of him. Later when i made the move to north carolina i met up with him for a fun filled weekend in atlanta. my dream come true! only for him to kiss me and say that say HE just wasn't interested....uh huh.HE will be back so depending on the amount of years you have known me you may be able to figure out who all these wonderful people are that i am making reference to. ha ha well it is a secret and if i ever intend to make my millions by sharing my every little secret then we must keep it this way. i would hate for some bitter embarrassed boy to come find me. everything i have said in this note and my previous note and all future notes have and will all be true.i write this down and share it with others only for the benefit of entertainment and maybe along the way i can teach somebody something. so sit back and enjoy.we have many more years ahead of us...and p.s. if you missed the first note go back and read....all these notes go hand in hand. you cant miss one and be careful if you have i found you somewhere along this path you might be referred to in a future note...